The Levels of Lazy

As I have stated many times in the past posts I have the potential for mass amounts of lazy. So, to give you a reference point I have created the Levels of Lazy. There are five levels to my scale. So let's just dive right in.
1.

The first level is not being lazy pretty much. It's having the motivation to haul yourself out of bed and do anything and everything that comes your way. It's like being superman without all the awesome abilities, but still trying to do things like lift cars and fly anyways because you are so motivated.

2.

This is the level that I am typically at in the middle of the day in between classes. I am never a level one ever. I cannot fly nor lift a car and I don't want to try, I am perfectly okay with this level. This is what a typical motivated not crazy student is like. Level one is for the insane. Level two is for the not necessarily normal but definitely not insane people.

3.

This level is for those who still want to try and attain a grade above a C or those who just want to be mediocre. This is the level I get at at least once a week. There is always one day where I spend the majority of my day at a level four (oh, you will see in second what that is) and then become this level at night.

4.

Yep, this is level four. You will have at least five days like this in a month. I promise you. This is where all you simply can do is sit and watch tv or be on a computer or just do nothing. It's rather glorious while it's happening until you realize that you actually had shit to do and you bump yourself up to def-com level three.

5.

This level the only thing that you are capable to do is breath and focus on that. You are so incredibly lazy that you are incapable of moving at all. You just lay and focus on not killing yourself by not breathing. This happens at least once a month. It's a needed stage of self-preservation.
So for future reference, if I ever talk about what level of lazy I am at the moment, refer back to this list and all will be clear. Feel free to use this in everyday conversation, the levels of laziness are a common piece of knowledge. You're welcome that I illustrated them.

Breakfast, to eat or not to eat.

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day I've been told. But, when you get to college breakfast is really optional. I am not denying that breakfast is an important meal, it's just the one meal that's the easiest to skip. If you wake up late, you don't have time. If you're lazy and out of food in your room and you don't want to go to the dining hall. If you forget, this one happens to me a lot. And of course there are many more excuses, but that's not what this post is about.
This post is about when you actually do eat breakfast and what you eat! Now, being a college student requires two things mainly. Being cheap and eating almost anything.
For instance:

No I've never actually bought and eaten a grease burrito, I don't even know if they exist. But if a food item only cost $1.13 and wasn't exactly fast food I would probably get it.

But anyways back to the point of breakfast here is the list of food that is okay to eat!

1.

Awesome choice with milk or dry if you just ran out of milk and are too lazy to go get some!

2.

BAGELS ARE THE BEST! Iiiiif...you have a toaster. Which are illegal or whatever in the dorms...Sooooo you would have to go elsewhere to get them toasted...and we all know the level of lazy I am.

3.

OMNOMNOM....that's how I feel about this one. Theeeee bestestestest!

Now, we have discussed appropriate things for breakfast. Of course we must talk about the inappropriate things that of course I have eaten for breakfast before.

1.

These things are like food crack for me. And being so simple to grab open and just eat and walk away. But seriously they are not a cool breakfast item...they will give you stomach aches, horrible, horrible stomach aches.
2.

 These will be the most tempting things you will ever encounter in your existence. You will think to yourself, "Just one!" Then devour half the bag/can/whatever-container-it's-in. And then you realize what a horrible idea it is when you're curled up in a little ball on the ground in the ball of food pain.
3.

As sad as this is, it's true. For some reason ones stomach really can't digest this amount of sweetness as soon as you've woken up. If you choose this to eat, then ball of pain is inevitable.
So let's recap, first three options are acceptable. It will result in you feeling like this for the rest of the day.

But, if you choose the second set of three you could end up like this.

You really want to avoid the ball of pain as much as you can. It's the worst thing you could ever experience and people may think you're really odd if you just curl up in a little ball in random places and start screaming.

This is why I'm so good at walking, and standing in general.

College involves a lot of walking, as I have found in my two weeks here so far. You do have options though, but they all involve down sides. You can have a car, but you have to pay for a parking pass and if you park it in the wrong area you run the incredible risk of being ticketed. Believe me, I’m pretty sure the police hide in parking areas just waiting for you to park in the wrong spot.

The next option is biking, but that’s just a lot of work. First you have to have a bike, but then you need a lock because people will steal your bike. Then you have to lock it properly otherwise people will steal it…again. And then you have to unlock it…clearly it’s just a lot of work, and/or I’m just lazy. The next option is probably the best out of all of them. It’s the buses. The buses are in reality a pretty good option but I find them terrifying. For instance this is what the buses actually looks like. 

It’s a normal bus, besides the color really. I don’t know why it’s green either. But the thing is, is that this is what the buses look like to me. 

The bus itself is a contraption of evil as well as the driver. So in general the buses terrify me because I feel like they are machines specifically designed for idiot me to get on them and not know exactly where they go and then be dropped off in the middle of nowhere.

Soooo, the conclusion we should reach here is that I prefer to walk. 

I’m really not that happy when I walk though. There are two reasons for that, one we have already discussed. The amount I sweat versus normal people and the heat of where I live. That sucks. The other part is is that I have the balance of a one legged rhinoceros. 

See it can’t even stand up, it’s just laying in the grass of the savannah in defeat. That’s really what I should do, but I attempt walking anyways.

So my first day of college was the worst for my balance out of all of them. I fell down a total of three times; and it’s not like trip and fall, I just fall down. One minute I’m standing happily. 

The next minute my cerebellum decides that it needs a two second break and this happens.

 

Typically I don’t have time to scream, I just fall straight on my ass. This really happens, I’m not making this up. In reality this is probably some kind of disorder, but the good side is that it keeps me on my toes...or on the ground.